25 and Working In A Kitchen

I was at work last night when some drunken idiot approached me, bitched about the price of pizza, and then had this exchange with me:

Idiot: "So how old are you?"
Me: "25."
Idiot: "That's too bad... you know, working here."

He then proceeded to smile and walk away. I wished him a thousand painful deaths, proclaimed a jihad on all of his family, and then punched the doorman's counter. Sorry, Jonathon, I didn't mean to scare you.

Let me vent for just a few minutes, if you will. I know most of you don't read my stuff, and that's fine. It made me laugh one day when someone mentioned the reason that they didn't was becasue they were "too long." Really? It takes me less than fifteen minutes to write these... really?

Anyway. Normally the idea of working in a bar's pizza kitchen selling high-quality, affordable Italian delights is a point of pride for me. I determined after some time that what really bothered me was the request for my age. It's as if someone whose aged 25 is not allowed to work in the service industry, lest he be deemed a failure. This, of course, is all predicated on the idea that man's worth is derived by what he does for a living. Are we still at this point in our society, or was this one inexplicably stupid asshole the exception? I sincerely hope its the latter.

Trust me, I've heard all the jokes. I've heard all the jokes about how I'm working on a decade's worth of schooling. I've heard all the jokes about when I was a freshman, the printing press had just been invented. I take all of these in stride, mostly because it's my friends who are doing the ribbing. If you can't laugh at yourself, you have no right to laugh at others, after all.

So I am a 25-year-old guy living in a college town, having college friends, working at a college bar. Most of my friends are significantly younger than me, and I rarely meet someone whose older than me who doesn't already have a job that supplies them with stock options. That's fine, but let me explain something to the lot of you who think that this is something I should be ashamed of... and I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

First off, I have friends that are 19 years old. That's a lot of years of separation. Let me assure you though: if I am hanging out with you, it's because I think you are a cool person and I enjoy conversing with you. It has nothing to do with me hanging onto my long-forgotten youth and trying to be young again. Hanging out with me for at least an hour will show you that I am one of the most juvenile people around, so that can't possibly be it.

Second, I'm happy doing what I do right now for a living. Rarely do I dread going into work. The vast majority of work days finds me happy and having a good time. This is all defined by (RECURRING THEME ALERT) the people I work with and how I think they are fun to be around. If you have ever teased me for this whether it be to my face or (even worse) behind my back to others, you are the worst kind of person. You are a black hole of humanity.

My age and my years spent in this town have been one of the greatest blessings of my life. I love the community of Cedar Falls and if it were up to me, I'd live here for the rest of my life. I love the people I associate with, and I love how I fit into all of it. There are sacrifices that must be made in the form of romantic relationships, perception of maturity, and other things that could easily be shook off it people allowed themselves to do so. Ah well.

Finally, the ultimate sacrifice for me is that I have a harder time than most meeting women. That comes with the territory, but I common theme I keep hearing is what people will think if word gets out that they're dating someone 3-6 years their senior. My parents are separated by five years. But that's beside the point. If you want to forsake the idea of someone having lived long enough to know how to treat a lady, and to do things the right way, that's fine. Spend some time with some punk college sophomore who has his whole life ahead of him and doesn't care whether or not you're a part of his longterm plans. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

So in conclusion, fuck that guy and his ridiculous modern-day faux alligator shirt. I am awesome, and there's not a damn thing any of you can do about it.