Please Forgive Me, I May Be An Idiot

If there's one thing that frustrates me more than the introduction of the word "Webisode" into the vernacular, it's my inability to get people. See, I can read 1-3-1 zone defense from my seat at center court better than most people. I know what the difference between a "Sam" Linebacker is and a "Mike" Linebacker. No, they are not brothers who meet at the annual Linebacker Family Reunion. But damn, those people can barbecue, son.

See, I have been on the earth longer than most of you (I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that most of you reading this are less than a quarter-century old). I still don't know anything. I still make futile attempts to reason with God like he's a Repo Man taking my HDTV. One thing I've learned is that God is not anyone's Celestial Bellhop. But damn it all if I still don't feel like trying.

The only thing I can really do is acknwoldge and accept my own shortcomings. I come on too strong at times, I have the social skills of an Irish professional drinker (which is both a curse and a blessing), and I indulge too much in life's little distractions. For those of you who say that I forgot about being in school for my eighth year, I say this to you: FUCK OFF. Mind your own damn business.

That's about all I can do. The good news is that making those acknolwedgements can help you identify social problems before they arise. There are a few instances where it still doesn't help you because temptation can be a powerful influence. So all I can say when those kinds of things happen is this: my bad.

The other thing I can do is keep the faith. I live in a social circle where most of my friends think that God is basically a trading card in a Magic: The Gathering game. I know none of them say it to me, but they find my belief in God to be misguided. Let 'em think so. Attempting to find proof either way is a waste of everyone's time because you just won't find it. I know what I know, and that ain't a whole hell of a lot. I like to think there's someone else who is looking out for me. I know I can't do it on my own. Look how much trouble I've gotten into so far.