Movie... Or Porn?

This is a recycled rant. I apologize for my laziness in advance.

There's an interesting pseudo-paradox at play in the minds of Americans. All you need to know about it this: take a good look at anything playing on FX. This is the network that brings you "The Punisher" with very little of the graphic violence removed. You will never see a boob or a wiener on television, however. FX will make damn sure of that, after they tell you about how there is no box.

FX: There is nothing to see here.

A bit of a sidetrack, I can't think of anything more irritatingly bloated and rediculous than the "edginess" that is "The Shield." This. Show. Fucking. SUCKS. Believe it. Type "the Shield" into a Google image search and you are assaulted by Michael Chiklis in all sorts of overly dramatic poses. Wow. What a badass. Douche.

My original point is this: I saw an episode of a mostly-lame show on FX called "Rescue Me" which went so far as to nearly show Denis "my career flamed out in 1994" Leary dog-styling some blond chick. I was titillated, disgusted, and had to retreat to my bedroom to violently masturbate. Sadly, the only thing that could get me to stop was realizing I was masturbating to Denis Leary's naked ass. GROSS'

Now I'm sure they did that to show you how "edgy" the show was. At some point "edgy" became a part of the vernacular, I would euthanize the person who did this if I knew who they were. "Edgy" does not mean good, and really, what the fuck does edgy even mean? Moreover, if we all pretty much agree that "edgy" is a word, what is so damned "edgy" about sex? When you plow your girlfriend or get plowed by your boyfriend, do you consider it "edgy?" No, I'm willing to bet you consider it ball-drainingly satisfying or orgasm-inducingly liberating.

Unless, of course, it's this genuinely disturbing piece of work brought to you by the fine people of Montana. Now THAT'S fucking EDGY, son!

But back to my original point.

You see, the problem is that we as Americans (this is NOT a European phenomenon, as far as I can tell) revel in the destruction of things. We love it when buildings explode, we watch that reprehensible "Bumfights" series, and we watch all the cop video shows our brain can handle before it has an aneurysm of stupid. Janet Jackson shows some boob, and suddenly we are "A Nation In Crisis." I hear people say "My child was watching that!" and my only response is "you think that's bad? Wait 'till your kid finds out he SUCKED on one of those for nourishment!" Actually, that's not true... my other response is "Man, I wish this woman would get the fuck off my TV screen before I hit her in the back of the head with a wiffle bat."

Hopefully in my lifetime we will be at the point where we can show a fine set of titties on television (and some of the not-so-good ones, I'm not a hater). Right now after nearly sixty years of mainstream television, what do we have?

This man's ass on prime time television. Hellloooooo ladies.

Let's make sure that we unite as a people and demand better alternatives. For God's sake. Dennis Franz's ass.