The Essence of Atheism

There are a couple of words I can think of that have a special power. This power to render a person completely uninteresting when they are used by said party to describe themselves. They are:

• Emo
• Born-again
• Bisexual
• Indie-rock fan
• Atheist

I am going to take a constructive look at that last one. Don't get me wrong, I find the endless needling and near-insane attempts at guilt-tripping done by evangelicals to be far more irritating. A quick word on the evangelicals: they are scum. They are a group of people who are quick to tell you their opinions on religion but don't want to hear shit about your opinion, lest they dismiss you as a blasphemer. They are bullies in their most simplistic form. Anything that challenges their system of beliefs is deemed dangerous and should be eliminated, often through letigious means. They are also (not) ironically the first group of people to cry foul when they feel that their rights have been challenged. Some would be perfectly happy if public schools led each day off with a prayer, but when they are told that this would be a clear violation of religious freedom, they cry "discrimination" and make comparisons to the Holocaust with no semblance of perspective or even good taste.

There. That's one man's opinion. In other words, eat shit, you peddlers of misery and intolerance.

If evangelicals are scum, atheists are fucking boobs. There are those atheists out there who are perfectly happy with others believing in a higher power, but these people are very few and far between. The majority of atheists have adopted these beliefs because of somewhat varied reasons, but the result is always the same. They view your attempts at faith as laughable, and in need of ridicule. Then they will give you a litany of reasons why.

Look, if you don't believe in God, kudos. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP. It's (not) ironic that a lot of atheists adopt their beliefs because they believe religion can cause a conformist mentality, it restricts free thought, and marginalizes human achievement. Then they tell you why they are atheist, which I can only assume is because they want you to join them.

CONTRADICTION, ASSHOLE. BURN IN HELL.

Christ, even Satanists believe that pretentious is a dangerous sin (go look it up if you don't believe me). You will never hear a Satanist try to push their beliefs on you because their religion forbids them from doing so. Atheism annoys me because the noble cause of humanism is tainted by the pretentiousness that almost always comes with it. I want to acknowledge the belief system of someone who doesn't believe in God (I don't agree with them, but I'll hear them out), but for some reason every atheist I've talked to always ends up sounding like the kind of pissy, smug cunt-sniffer that owns a Mac.

If any of you can give me a good reason why I shouldn't believe in God, I'm waiting to hear it. For all of the accusations I get of being a pessimist, a cynic, and a hater, at the end of the day I still harbor the belief that there's a higher power ensuring that we'll make out okay in the end. And no, I don't think that "because you're a sheep" qualifies as a good reason to convert to atheism. Hypocrisy is a stinky cologne.